Τετάρτη, 7 Μαρτίου 2012

A Malkavian's thought of trains: Nigel responds

To Ray Perth

Long time no see my paranoid friend/groupie(whichever you prefer). By the way, Jeena explained to me what "Paranoid" means and I've managed to get rid of it.She said "Nigel honey,you know, I saw a movie yesterday while you were asleep with a paranoid guy, you know,like you and the looney friend of yours from Chicago... and I re...rea...(I'm telling you she really tried to say "Realized". Isn't it awesome?)figured out that paranoia is something like a headache
but once you get one you have it all the time.That guy from the movie was caged in a planetarium. Oh Nigel, I didn't want you to go to that place so I bought you some pills!"(As you can imagine she thinks that a planetarium is the place where crazy people go... I didn't want to hurt her feelings by correcting her.You know along
with the pills she bought me a collector's edition of "Gone with the wind" and thus she still believes so...)

With the help of the pills and Yoga I got
free of this paranoia.Do not ask me to share the pills' brand name with
you, I still remember that you tricked me into this. Well,this is not the reason I'm writing to you though...Because Nigel is a wonderful,caring, handsome, bright (you don't want to see how creative
I can be with self flattery) person I decided to repay you the favor of
saving my sweetheart with the same coin.I just saved your reputation. I narrate you the facts bellow.

Me and Jeena were leaving from another celebration that one of my fun clubs was holding for my first album, when a bunch of hellhounds with fiery eyes and foul breath started barking at us.The were of the "Dopperman" variety as I realized later by gathering my wits but this is not the point here. I heard Jeena saying "Shhhhhh little doggies you are not allowed to bark here.You don't want to go to jail do you?Oh Nigel,do something,tell them not to bark because they will get hurt if the don't stop!" And then I noticed...A sign on which was written -No Barking-. What kind of an asshole could've written -No Barking- on a parking sign? Soon after touching the sign I sensed your mixed pattern
of a fucked-up energy.

It took me some time to figure out your purpose of doing
that but then "BINGO!". Of course you were trying to state the obvious...As a group of paranoids you and your clan are(thank Jeena's brilliant mind once more I'm not included to this group anymore...the others would hate me if they found out that I was the only one capable of belonging to two different clans.If you think about it, I would hate me too.I mean, thousands of years have passed without anyone having this ability.I truly am unique!) To continue with the life-saving part, I put my groupies to convert all the signs (by the way i didn't know that you were a Mexican) to -Not Barking- .I know I'm a life saver and for that I will grant you the rank of the vice captain of the "Nigelists IX" worship cult.Although I cannot understand why is it so important to you and your fellas to confirm such trivial matters as a sign which is not barking.It's not like it's broken or something... IT IS A SIGN for god's sake. Signs,cars and all the other stuff except DOGS do not bark.I hope I made it clear for you... You are my friend still. Jeena sends her greetings also.

Oh,something last that I just remembered, I was trying to overhear a conversation
between two fledgelings but I only managed to hear the phrase "Fished out information". Breaking her record once more, Jeena was the brain here and found it more probable that they said "Fish doubt in formation". Do you know anything about that?As far as I can remember you were into those weird stuff, carrying your fishing pole around.I hope you will reply to me with an answer... Think about it, cause we might have a breakthrough
here.We must get ahead of them.

The one and only

P.s.: I have enclosed within the envelope two drops of my perfume as a substitution to fight your obsession with me.Not that something like a substitution(I learned this word only days before and I'm very proud of it) for me exists anyway but it is for your own good.


Text rightfully attributed to Leechbane

Δευτέρα, 27 Φεβρουαρίου 2012

Lack of drawing skills for a character sketch: No longer a malady.


Καλησπερίζω για άλλη μια φορά τους αναγνώστες του Rpg και συ (μου αρέσει να χρησιμοποιώ τον όρο αναγνώστες, με κάνει να νιώθω πως υπάρχει ακόμα κόσμος που διαβάζει αυτά που γράφω) και τους εύχομαι καλή χρονιά, μιας και η τελευταία μου ανάρτηση ήταν το Νοέμβριο του 2011. Είθε λοιπόν ο νέος χρόνος να είναι γεμάτος ευτυχία, χαρά και αναρτήσεις άξιες ανάγνωσης. Moving on.

Στην περίπτωση που με την παραπάνω εισαγωγή έδωσα την εντύπωση ότι θα γράψω ή θα παρουσιάσω κάτι δικό μου, θα ήθελα να τη διαψεύσω άμεσα, τουλάχιστον κατά ένα μεγάλο ποσοστό. Παρ΄όλα αυτά δε θέλω κάτι τέτοιο να υπονομεύσει το περιεχόμενο της ανάρτησης, καθώς το θεωρώ μια χρυσή προσθήκη για όσους θα ήθελαν να έχουν ένα πορτραίτο για το χαρακτήρα τους, αλλά δεν έχουν στη διάθεσή τους είτε σκιτσογραφικές ικανότητες είτε κάποιο φίλο/γκόμενα-ο με σκιτσογραφικές ικανότητες για να αγγαρέψουν.

Αναφέρομαι λοιπόν σε ένα προγραμματάκι που έτυχε να ανακαλύψω πρόσφατα μέσω ενός φίλου και συμπαίχτη, τo Hero Machine. Με το εν λόγω προγραμματάκι, με την ποικιλία υλικού που διαθέτει και με κάποιο σωστό χειρισμό, μπορεί πολύ εύκολα κάποιος να φτιάξει ένα ικανοποιητικότατο σκίτσο για τον χαρακτήρα του. To setting ή η βάση του παιχνιδιού δύσκολα θα αποτελέσουν πρόβλημα, καθώς το Hero Machine έχει στη διαθεσή του από μεσαιωνικές πανοπλίες και σπαθιά μέχρι AK-47 και kevlar vests. Περεταίρω από τη βασική σύσταση του χαρακτήρα, διαθέτει και επιλογές χρωματισμού και transparency, αλλά εγώ προσωπικά επέλεξα να μην τις χρησιμοποιήσω.

Για να αποκτήσει λοιπόν το άρθρο ένα ολοκληρωμένο κλίμα telemarketing αν δεν το έχει ήδη κάνει, παραθέτω τα παρακάτω παραδείγματα (click to enlarge, dipshit) :

Berthold Wolfwood, (My) red wizard of High Sorcery

Tobin Loneranger, kender Finder of Hylo (bonus raccoon material included)

Uldavan of the Wild Host, Druid Of Qualinost

Valas Uth Lanthas, Knight of the Crown

John "Speaks-with-his-wrath" Locke, Fenrir Ahroun

Τούτο λοιπόν είναι το Hero Machine. Αν το βρείτε εξίσου χρήσιμο με μένα, προτείνω να στείλουμε μια μαζική αίτηση στη White Wolf κατά την οποία θα απαιτούμε να το υιοθετήσει σα σύστημα εικονογράφησης και να απολύσει οριστικά τους παλιούς της σκιτσογράφους,πράγμα που θα αφήσει πολλά παιδιά νηπιαγωγείου χωρίς μόνιμο εισόδημα χάριμπο.