Τετάρτη, 7 Μαρτίου 2012

A Malkavian's thought of trains: Nigel responds


To Ray Perth


Long time no see my paranoid friend/groupie(whichever you prefer). By the way, Jeena explained to me what "Paranoid" means and I've managed to get rid of it.She said "Nigel honey,you know, I saw a movie yesterday while you were asleep with a paranoid guy, you know,like you and the looney friend of yours from Chicago... and I re...rea...(I'm telling you she really tried to say "Realized". Isn't it awesome?)figured out that paranoia is something like a headache
but once you get one you have it all the time.That guy from the movie was caged in a planetarium. Oh Nigel, I didn't want you to go to that place so I bought you some pills!"(As you can imagine she thinks that a planetarium is the place where crazy people go... I didn't want to hurt her feelings by correcting her.You know along
with the pills she bought me a collector's edition of "Gone with the wind" and thus she still believes so...)

With the help of the pills and Yoga I got
free of this paranoia.Do not ask me to share the pills' brand name with
you, I still remember that you tricked me into this. Well,this is not the reason I'm writing to you though...Because Nigel is a wonderful,caring, handsome, bright (you don't want to see how creative
I can be with self flattery) person I decided to repay you the favor of
saving my sweetheart with the same coin.I just saved your reputation. I narrate you the facts bellow.




Me and Jeena were leaving from another celebration that one of my fun clubs was holding for my first album, when a bunch of hellhounds with fiery eyes and foul breath started barking at us.The were of the "Dopperman" variety as I realized later by gathering my wits but this is not the point here. I heard Jeena saying "Shhhhhh little doggies you are not allowed to bark here.You don't want to go to jail do you?Oh Nigel,do something,tell them not to bark because they will get hurt if the don't stop!" And then I noticed...A sign on which was written -No Barking-. What kind of an asshole could've written -No Barking- on a parking sign? Soon after touching the sign I sensed your mixed pattern
of a fucked-up energy.

It took me some time to figure out your purpose of doing
that but then "BINGO!". Of course you were trying to state the obvious...As a group of paranoids you and your clan are(thank Jeena's brilliant mind once more I'm not included to this group anymore...the others would hate me if they found out that I was the only one capable of belonging to two different clans.If you think about it, I would hate me too.I mean, thousands of years have passed without anyone having this ability.I truly am unique!) To continue with the life-saving part, I put my groupies to convert all the signs (by the way i didn't know that you were a Mexican) to -Not Barking- .I know I'm a life saver and for that I will grant you the rank of the vice captain of the "Nigelists IX" worship cult.Although I cannot understand why is it so important to you and your fellas to confirm such trivial matters as a sign which is not barking.It's not like it's broken or something... IT IS A SIGN for god's sake. Signs,cars and all the other stuff except DOGS do not bark.I hope I made it clear for you... You are my friend still. Jeena sends her greetings also.

Oh,something last that I just remembered, I was trying to overhear a conversation
between two fledgelings but I only managed to hear the phrase "Fished out information". Breaking her record once more, Jeena was the brain here and found it more probable that they said "Fish doubt in formation". Do you know anything about that?As far as I can remember you were into those weird stuff, carrying your fishing pole around.I hope you will reply to me with an answer... Think about it, cause we might have a breakthrough
here.We must get ahead of them.


The one and only
NIGEL

P.s.: I have enclosed within the envelope two drops of my perfume as a substitution to fight your obsession with me.Not that something like a substitution(I learned this word only days before and I'm very proud of it) for me exists anyway but it is for your own good.

XXX

Text rightfully attributed to Leechbane

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